I tend to start things and not follow through with them. It sucks. I go back and forth back and forth and then typically talk myself out of doing things. I postponed applying for grad school for almost a year, knowing that the only way I am going to be able to do what I really want to do is to go back to school. I also have many projects that I do not have enough faith in to complete. Fear of rejection rules my life, I hate it. How do I overcome this? I have no idea. I would rather not do things than be rejected, but how will I ever lead myself to a successful life without taking risks? I know it won't happen. I can't even commit to this blog! Pathetic.
I have several New Year's Resolutions:
01. Go to church regularly
02. Do not live above my means
03. Pay off car
04. Follow through with things
05. Put myself out there more
06. Find a new job
Resolutions, goals, what have you. These are what they are for 2008. Time to grow up.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Premiere Week
If you are an ABC junkie as I am, you know that it was premiere week for all of the shows. Here is my little input on the shows thus far (I am still waiting for Sunday's, those look fab).
Private Practice: Okay, so this is the spin off show from Grey's Anatomy. I think the show has potential, but I think the first episode was a little crazy. First, I know that they did the pilot last season so we had already been introduced to the characters, but I am sure that there are plenty of people who do not know who they are...there should have at least been a recap. I remembered who the characters were, but completely forgot their names and everything that had been introduced about them six months ago. Second, I understand the concept of trying to catch the audience's attention and real them into watching the next episode, but this episode was just way too busy. Aside from the fact that we were trying to remember who was who, we had to follow the story all over the place. First it starts with Addison on the Grey's set, then her dancing naked, then a bunch of people being pissed and yelling, then some crazy girl counting tiles somewhere we had no idea she was at at first, and then Addison doing an emergency c-section. Too much being thrown all over the place. Since I am a believer in sticking it out I will watch next week's episode. I just hope that they calm it down a bit.
Dirty Sexy Money: This is a new show this season, and I must say the pilot was fantastic. It did a great job of introducing the characters and showing the crazy life that was going on for everyone. The twist at the end that one of the family members was probably responsible for killing the father was interesting. I hope that it is not something that they try to play out for the entire series, I am interested to know what kind of take they are going to put on that. The assistant putting the personal ring tones on the phone for the family was hilarious. I think this show has great potential.
Ugly Betty: Those bastards at ABC got me on that one! They have set up a great story line for the season. Alexis wakes up from a coma and doesn't know he has had a sex change. Henry pops back up at the end of the episode. Justin is going to be interning at Mode (I do think that is against child labor laws, but its fiction so its cool). Amanda was wearing a fat suit, that was hysterical! They have definitely tied last season up and used it fantastically to set up for the rest of the season. I have to say again that those bastards got me! I thought Santos was alive. That was so sad that it was all a dream and Hilda has a break down because he is really gone. I totally did not see that one coming. They were being so sweet together throughout the episode, I really thought they decided to keep him...tragic. 4 stars for Ugly Betty...best premiere so far this week in my book.
Grey's Anatomy: Where do I begin? I was very upset with Grey's last season because first the premiere sucked, then the entire season was a mess. Grey's is also notorious for not showing episodes for weeks at a time without any warning. I decided that if they did not get their act together I would not be watching it anymore. This premiere was pretty good, so the show has potential, especially with 2 of their major actors gone from the show. The one thing I did not like was the whole Izzy trying to save the deer thing. Maybe it was suppose to show something metaphorical...like the bambi thing she was trying to talk to George about, but my personal guess was that the network was trying to mess with Katherine because she asked for more money since she is such a "big actress" now. I liked knocked up, but one good movie does not make you a star. The preview for next week looked good, hopefully Grey's writers got their shit together and they will be able to make an excellent season and get Grey's off the shit list.
Big Shots: Was decent, I'm still not 100% sure about how I like this show. It was definitely funny and I think they have a lot of room to grow. Plus my main man Michael Vartan is in it, and lets face it ladies we would watch it solely for him...or maybe thats just be, but I don't think so. Dylan McDermott is pretty hot himself. I think the guys had great chemistry together. Maybe this will be another show I add to my ABC junkie list.
I love ABC. When I moved into my apartment I did not get cable because I was trying to save on additional expenses, then I realized with the magic of bunny ears (or as you may know them antennas) I saw that you get 5 channels for free. Lucky for me ABC comes in great with no breaks in reception. That is pretty much the only channel I watch anyway. Although, I do love Big Love, so I have to go over to my dad's house to watch it on Icontrol...but that is between seasons right now so it is alright. Anyway, that is my rundown on my shows. Its what I do on Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday nights. My other nights are freed up to do whateva. I can't wait until Sunday to see how Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters turns out. I will probably tune in for the Pushing Daisies and Carpoolers premieres next week, but count me out for that Caveman shit...who the hell did Geico sell their souls to to get that on air? So there is my two cents, hope you enjoyed.
Private Practice: Okay, so this is the spin off show from Grey's Anatomy. I think the show has potential, but I think the first episode was a little crazy. First, I know that they did the pilot last season so we had already been introduced to the characters, but I am sure that there are plenty of people who do not know who they are...there should have at least been a recap. I remembered who the characters were, but completely forgot their names and everything that had been introduced about them six months ago. Second, I understand the concept of trying to catch the audience's attention and real them into watching the next episode, but this episode was just way too busy. Aside from the fact that we were trying to remember who was who, we had to follow the story all over the place. First it starts with Addison on the Grey's set, then her dancing naked, then a bunch of people being pissed and yelling, then some crazy girl counting tiles somewhere we had no idea she was at at first, and then Addison doing an emergency c-section. Too much being thrown all over the place. Since I am a believer in sticking it out I will watch next week's episode. I just hope that they calm it down a bit.
Dirty Sexy Money: This is a new show this season, and I must say the pilot was fantastic. It did a great job of introducing the characters and showing the crazy life that was going on for everyone. The twist at the end that one of the family members was probably responsible for killing the father was interesting. I hope that it is not something that they try to play out for the entire series, I am interested to know what kind of take they are going to put on that. The assistant putting the personal ring tones on the phone for the family was hilarious. I think this show has great potential.
Ugly Betty: Those bastards at ABC got me on that one! They have set up a great story line for the season. Alexis wakes up from a coma and doesn't know he has had a sex change. Henry pops back up at the end of the episode. Justin is going to be interning at Mode (I do think that is against child labor laws, but its fiction so its cool). Amanda was wearing a fat suit, that was hysterical! They have definitely tied last season up and used it fantastically to set up for the rest of the season. I have to say again that those bastards got me! I thought Santos was alive. That was so sad that it was all a dream and Hilda has a break down because he is really gone. I totally did not see that one coming. They were being so sweet together throughout the episode, I really thought they decided to keep him...tragic. 4 stars for Ugly Betty...best premiere so far this week in my book.
Grey's Anatomy: Where do I begin? I was very upset with Grey's last season because first the premiere sucked, then the entire season was a mess. Grey's is also notorious for not showing episodes for weeks at a time without any warning. I decided that if they did not get their act together I would not be watching it anymore. This premiere was pretty good, so the show has potential, especially with 2 of their major actors gone from the show. The one thing I did not like was the whole Izzy trying to save the deer thing. Maybe it was suppose to show something metaphorical...like the bambi thing she was trying to talk to George about, but my personal guess was that the network was trying to mess with Katherine because she asked for more money since she is such a "big actress" now. I liked knocked up, but one good movie does not make you a star. The preview for next week looked good, hopefully Grey's writers got their shit together and they will be able to make an excellent season and get Grey's off the shit list.
Big Shots: Was decent, I'm still not 100% sure about how I like this show. It was definitely funny and I think they have a lot of room to grow. Plus my main man Michael Vartan is in it, and lets face it ladies we would watch it solely for him...or maybe thats just be, but I don't think so. Dylan McDermott is pretty hot himself. I think the guys had great chemistry together. Maybe this will be another show I add to my ABC junkie list.
I love ABC. When I moved into my apartment I did not get cable because I was trying to save on additional expenses, then I realized with the magic of bunny ears (or as you may know them antennas) I saw that you get 5 channels for free. Lucky for me ABC comes in great with no breaks in reception. That is pretty much the only channel I watch anyway. Although, I do love Big Love, so I have to go over to my dad's house to watch it on Icontrol...but that is between seasons right now so it is alright. Anyway, that is my rundown on my shows. Its what I do on Wednesday, Thursday, and Sunday nights. My other nights are freed up to do whateva. I can't wait until Sunday to see how Desperate Housewives and Brothers and Sisters turns out. I will probably tune in for the Pushing Daisies and Carpoolers premieres next week, but count me out for that Caveman shit...who the hell did Geico sell their souls to to get that on air? So there is my two cents, hope you enjoyed.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Another Day Wiser
We are told that we learn something new everyday. This was definitely the case for me yesterday. I went out with two of my male coworkers for drinks and to watch people kareoke last night. I thought that it would be innocent enough. I, being responsible, only had 2 drinks, whereas my male counterparts had about 10 a piece. One of them I was driving so it really didn't matter how hammed he got, the other one is just stupid when it comes to drinking and driving. You would think that a DUI in college would have stopped him from doing it again, but I guess some people do not learn from their mistakes.
Anyway...I was somehow convinced to go to the strip club with them...on a Wednesday night, wtf. It was straight though, they were fine with just sitting at the bar and not making me go sit at the stage so they could oggle the girls closer. Well then the drunk driver decides he wants to see how fucked up he could get the other guy and gets him a shot of wild turkey...it came back up in the matter of seconds. Lucky for him he was able to make it to the bathroom before his projections were released. They were both loud as hell and obnoxious, granted it was entertaining, but also embarassing at the same time when you are sober.
Then all of a sudden the cocktail waitress is like, "HEY LAUREN, HOW ARE YA?!" I replied in idle chit chat, but did not have a damn clue as to who I was talking to. I did not recognize the face at all. Then the drunk comrades wanted me to introduce and thought I was just lying when I said I had no idea who she was. So then the puker gets up and goes and asks her how she knows me, when he comes back he leans in and tells me that we grew up in the same neighborhood, played softball together, went to the same school, and rode the bus to school together. It took me a few minutes, but then I finally placed who she was. I hadn't seen this girl since I was about 15 and acually had forgotten all about her. She was one of those girls that was a leader when you are younger and gained the attention most wanted from the boys, probably because she was "fast". I actually kinda felt bad for her, I used to look up to her and wish I could be more like her. Lately I have been cursing my decision to go to college because of the massive debt of student loans I am swamped in and the lack of career potential for me in my town. But, I have put a plan into action that I would move to a new city when my lease was up and start over. I could market my sales/managerial/educational background to land something decent. I have even started networking. Last night I realized that college was not a bad decision, yes it gave me debt but look at the potential I have...and the girl that I once wished I could be is serving drinks to men only there to oggle women willing to bare it all. That was the reality check that I needed to know that I do have potential and that I will actually be moving my life forward.
Do not get me wrong, do what you gotta do to make your money. If you are stripping to get through school or a time in life where you need money fast and its the only legal way to do it, so be it. If you are stripping for a career, thats your choice, but do recognize that you can only stay in that game for so long before it turns one of two ways. You do the math on those options. One day you will be too old to do it, or after you have a baby your body may not bounce back to what it used to be. I have nothing against strippers or strip clubs, they are what they are, and I can't say that I have not had fun when I went up there in my limited experience (mostly for the no cover and free drinks). I guess it hits you a little differently when you see someone who you used to look up to working in a place with no future.
Anyway...I was somehow convinced to go to the strip club with them...on a Wednesday night, wtf. It was straight though, they were fine with just sitting at the bar and not making me go sit at the stage so they could oggle the girls closer. Well then the drunk driver decides he wants to see how fucked up he could get the other guy and gets him a shot of wild turkey...it came back up in the matter of seconds. Lucky for him he was able to make it to the bathroom before his projections were released. They were both loud as hell and obnoxious, granted it was entertaining, but also embarassing at the same time when you are sober.
Then all of a sudden the cocktail waitress is like, "HEY LAUREN, HOW ARE YA?!" I replied in idle chit chat, but did not have a damn clue as to who I was talking to. I did not recognize the face at all. Then the drunk comrades wanted me to introduce and thought I was just lying when I said I had no idea who she was. So then the puker gets up and goes and asks her how she knows me, when he comes back he leans in and tells me that we grew up in the same neighborhood, played softball together, went to the same school, and rode the bus to school together. It took me a few minutes, but then I finally placed who she was. I hadn't seen this girl since I was about 15 and acually had forgotten all about her. She was one of those girls that was a leader when you are younger and gained the attention most wanted from the boys, probably because she was "fast". I actually kinda felt bad for her, I used to look up to her and wish I could be more like her. Lately I have been cursing my decision to go to college because of the massive debt of student loans I am swamped in and the lack of career potential for me in my town. But, I have put a plan into action that I would move to a new city when my lease was up and start over. I could market my sales/managerial/educational background to land something decent. I have even started networking. Last night I realized that college was not a bad decision, yes it gave me debt but look at the potential I have...and the girl that I once wished I could be is serving drinks to men only there to oggle women willing to bare it all. That was the reality check that I needed to know that I do have potential and that I will actually be moving my life forward.
Do not get me wrong, do what you gotta do to make your money. If you are stripping to get through school or a time in life where you need money fast and its the only legal way to do it, so be it. If you are stripping for a career, thats your choice, but do recognize that you can only stay in that game for so long before it turns one of two ways. You do the math on those options. One day you will be too old to do it, or after you have a baby your body may not bounce back to what it used to be. I have nothing against strippers or strip clubs, they are what they are, and I can't say that I have not had fun when I went up there in my limited experience (mostly for the no cover and free drinks). I guess it hits you a little differently when you see someone who you used to look up to working in a place with no future.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Selling
As a general whole I do not really like the sales industry. I really hate pushing people to buy a product, even if it may be something that they need. Shockingly enough I am actually pretty good at it. I use my own methods and my own ways. I do not care who you are, you do not like to hear a pitch or feel like you are being forced to buy something just because this person made it sound good. I currently sell auto insurance (don't hate me, its not that bad) which is something that, by law, everyone with a vehicle must have. It is sooo stupid to not have it! But, most people that do have insurance have no idea what kind of coverages they have, or even if they do as a general whole the public does not have a clue as to what it exactly means or covers. So, if you are not a complete ass to me when you talk to me, even if my quote is too high, I will at least try to make you understand what you are spending hundreds of dollars a year on.
Now...I do not like to be pushy. I like to give people options and choices, and not force them into purchasing something. Generally, this works. I have many people call me back and set up policies later, so obviously even if I do not sell on the first try people don't feel forced and call me back. I also think they like the fact that I take my time with them. Do not get me wrong, if you are an ass you will not get nice Lauren. Lauren will do her job, do the quote, and then say good bye lickedly split.
Commission is a great factor in making me try harder at my job. I want to make the sales because I want to make the extra money. We have to sell a certain number of policies in order to make commission and then when you sell additional after that you get a certain dollar amount per sale...sweet. But, I have been in a "zone" that sucks! It is the worst area to be quoting in and we are not competitive so we cannot sell. I average commission every two weeks, which I am satisfied with. I did not think I would make it this week and the last quote I did today was from Miami...an area that we NEVER sell in. I sold the damn thing, hit commission, and felt fab! The dollar amount was high, but the customer still took it...thank you lady from Miami in order for pushing me into my goal so I will not be broke next payday!
Just thought I would update on my sales for the week and that I do not completely suck at life!
Now...I do not like to be pushy. I like to give people options and choices, and not force them into purchasing something. Generally, this works. I have many people call me back and set up policies later, so obviously even if I do not sell on the first try people don't feel forced and call me back. I also think they like the fact that I take my time with them. Do not get me wrong, if you are an ass you will not get nice Lauren. Lauren will do her job, do the quote, and then say good bye lickedly split.
Commission is a great factor in making me try harder at my job. I want to make the sales because I want to make the extra money. We have to sell a certain number of policies in order to make commission and then when you sell additional after that you get a certain dollar amount per sale...sweet. But, I have been in a "zone" that sucks! It is the worst area to be quoting in and we are not competitive so we cannot sell. I average commission every two weeks, which I am satisfied with. I did not think I would make it this week and the last quote I did today was from Miami...an area that we NEVER sell in. I sold the damn thing, hit commission, and felt fab! The dollar amount was high, but the customer still took it...thank you lady from Miami in order for pushing me into my goal so I will not be broke next payday!
Just thought I would update on my sales for the week and that I do not completely suck at life!
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Everyone else is doing it
I now remember why I never followed through with my blog in the past...I always press the wrong damn keys and wind up deleting my post!!! I had to keep a blog in college for my writing and technology course, and I now vividly remember being so pissed off after I wrote something very insightful and then KABLAM it was gone. Bitches. I will get the hang of it soon.
So anyways, here I am...a little past fashionably late on the blog scene as per usual. I decided to start posting again because I need somewhere just to write and not to be judged. Not having to worry about grammatical errors or the flow of my thoughts. Thank god I got my degrees and don't have to worry about the blood red papers I will be getting back on a daily basis. They can just be here and that be that. Funny...in so many of my English courses in college we studied semiotics, I even wrote a term paper on it, yet these were the professors telling me I needed to "gather" my writings. Semiotics is the study of words and the way they are used...and bottom line words can only be used in the context in which they were presented, but somehow someone else is always telling you how you could have done it better. Now there is a clear difference between not being able to write a coherent paper and writing in a manner that may appeal to the literary critics. If you cannot manage a simple declarative sentence you may need to go back to the basics, but if you can write something that someone understands you just don' used "big words" every other word then there is not a problem. I remember my communication professors saying that using too many big words was just trying to show off your vocab and not really understanding what you are talking about. Everyone is a critic I suppose.
Speaking of writing I read a great book this weekend. It is called "Bad Girl" by Maya Reynolds. Great read. Not the typical novel that I would normally read, but I suggest you get your booties down to Barnes and Noble, Borders, Amazon, or wherever your choice of purchase may be and buy it immediately. I was so impressed with her writing style that I googled her to find out what other works she had out there and turns out that this was her first published. I personally think this is a fantastic first novel. I hope that she gets the response she needs for her publishers to put out more of her books because I have not had an author be able to evoke emotion the way she did since I read Pride and Prejudice. Now, do not get me wrong, I am not comparing her to Jane Austin (totally different genres/era etc), but that was the last book that I actually felt emotion while reading. There have been plenty of books that have had me turning pages to find out what happened next, but that was sheer suspense of wanting to know how the plot played out...not how will I be feeling next chapter. And yes...I am trying to spread the word as much as possible because I just loved this book so much...no shame in my game.
I think that is good for now.
So anyways, here I am...a little past fashionably late on the blog scene as per usual. I decided to start posting again because I need somewhere just to write and not to be judged. Not having to worry about grammatical errors or the flow of my thoughts. Thank god I got my degrees and don't have to worry about the blood red papers I will be getting back on a daily basis. They can just be here and that be that. Funny...in so many of my English courses in college we studied semiotics, I even wrote a term paper on it, yet these were the professors telling me I needed to "gather" my writings. Semiotics is the study of words and the way they are used...and bottom line words can only be used in the context in which they were presented, but somehow someone else is always telling you how you could have done it better. Now there is a clear difference between not being able to write a coherent paper and writing in a manner that may appeal to the literary critics. If you cannot manage a simple declarative sentence you may need to go back to the basics, but if you can write something that someone understands you just don' used "big words" every other word then there is not a problem. I remember my communication professors saying that using too many big words was just trying to show off your vocab and not really understanding what you are talking about. Everyone is a critic I suppose.
Speaking of writing I read a great book this weekend. It is called "Bad Girl" by Maya Reynolds. Great read. Not the typical novel that I would normally read, but I suggest you get your booties down to Barnes and Noble, Borders, Amazon, or wherever your choice of purchase may be and buy it immediately. I was so impressed with her writing style that I googled her to find out what other works she had out there and turns out that this was her first published. I personally think this is a fantastic first novel. I hope that she gets the response she needs for her publishers to put out more of her books because I have not had an author be able to evoke emotion the way she did since I read Pride and Prejudice. Now, do not get me wrong, I am not comparing her to Jane Austin (totally different genres/era etc), but that was the last book that I actually felt emotion while reading. There have been plenty of books that have had me turning pages to find out what happened next, but that was sheer suspense of wanting to know how the plot played out...not how will I be feeling next chapter. And yes...I am trying to spread the word as much as possible because I just loved this book so much...no shame in my game.
I think that is good for now.
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